Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
