im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
