I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
