Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
