nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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