The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize