this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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