You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
