I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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