I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize