Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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