dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
pop tarts are not kleenex
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
