CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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