You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
