ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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