I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
