My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
