marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
