we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I need to sanitize my soul.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
