CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
