I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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