we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
