Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
