Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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