I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It's not a walk of shame if you run
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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