we have officially lost it.
i was born a porn star she said
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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