just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize