If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
