The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
