Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry thebatman12 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(770): View more from Georgia

I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.

Fav 51 1417 4946
share tweet
(781): View more from Massachusetts

today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.

Fav 96 17332 1817
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(913): View more from Kansas

Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.

Fav 21 6830 1357
share tweet
(240): View more from Maryland

last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours

Fav 15 13872 1581
share tweet
(913): View more from Kansas

So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.

Fav 8 3050 1212
share tweet
(864): View more from South Carolina

You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."

Fav 9 3567 1018
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(703): View more from Virginia

I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.

Fav 8 2129 1377
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(732): View more from New Jersey

Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.

Fav 6 746 595
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(786): View more from Florida

Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?

Fav 0 48 4
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT