You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
