Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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