Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
