also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
