remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Princesses don't give blow jobs
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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