Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
