He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
