Walk of Shame. In a state park.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
