So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
So apparently I’m into choking now
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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