just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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