piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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