I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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