Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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