it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
My balls are so social today.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
