i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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