It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
