I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
