It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize