i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
