When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
50% drunk capacity currently
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
