It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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