Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
