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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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