Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
