Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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