We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
