So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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