Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
