Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
