you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
