At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
