what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
