one two three fourrrrnication!
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
