Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
