The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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